Today is May 2nd. One year ago today was my last day of teaching before I went on maternity leave... In the same breath, that seems like a lifetime ago and a minute ago.
As I was giving Burke a bath tonight, I was thinking that, were I permitted, I'd love to run back to May 2, 2008. Not to re-live that point in time, but to whisper a few words to my year-ago-very-pregnant-self. You see, I had all sorts of crazy ideas about the year to come and I think it might've been good to hear a dose of reality...
This is what I'd say:
-Goodness gracious- stop worrying about labor and delivery. There will be a baby, an actual, living baby here in a couple weeks. Worry about that.
-I know people always say this, but your mind cannot comprehend, not even a little bit, how much you're going to love this little guy. He'll absolutely captivate your heart.
-Maybe you should do some research about HELLP syndrome. It's scary stuff. Wait, scratch that, don't research anything. That information may do more harm than good at this point.
-The glimpse you'll get into the heart of our Father by loving burke is absolutely one of the most amazing things you'll ever see. You know how you've always wondered if the Lord can care about teeny little things (like if you're lonely or having a bad day)? In caring about those things for burke, you'll have a better understanding of our Father's compassionate and loving heart for the small stuff.
-Breast feeding is way, way, way more difficult than you think. You should know that going in.
-It gets easier, though, the breast feeding. And it's a darn good thing, too. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any breastfed babies in the world, just ones that were breastfed for the first month until their moms quit because it was too hard. And too painful.
-For the first time in your life, you're going to be a worrier. You'll worry about food intake and output and about how to know if something is really wrong and about SIDS. Even worse, you'll worry about things far down the road, like whether junior high will be as rough on this teensy weensy as it was on you. The silver lining is that trusting God in the midst of serious anxiousness is a new (and very freeing) experience.
-Soon, you'll measure the amount of sleep you get in terms of uninterrupted chunks instead of the amount of time you were in bed. Like, "I got 4!?! uninterrupted hours of sleep last night" (even when you were technically 'in bed' for 12 hours... since only 6 of those were spent sleeping, it doesn't seem fair to label it otherwise).
-Call Jordi and mom and tell them that the Itsy Bitsy is coming early. If they want to be here for the birth, they'll need to move up their travel plans.
-This adventure of parenting is way more of, well, an adventure than you know. More fun, more delight, more laughter... just more.
ps- The fabulous pictures above were taken by our oh-so-talented friend Gwen about 8 hours before I went into labor. :)
Some of the agenda:
