Girl brunch at Heidi K's
I also have been overwhelmed at people's generosity in giving us stuff for the Itsy Bitsy. There have been a couple more showers in the last week or so and Adam and I just look with disbelief at the pile of teeny clothes, bouncy seats, tummy time contraptions, nursery decor, travel beds, diapers and other tools that will surely make our lives easier in the next year or so. More than that, it has been so fantastic to spend some extra time with the girls that I love lately and such a blessing to see the care and planning that friends have put into these showers and their gifts. Y'all know that one of my love languages is giving and I feel extravagantly cared for.
Our pastor has been teaching about this verse for the last several weeks. Today he talked about the word "good" and how our idea of good and God's might be very different. In our world, good means things work out for our benefit and according to our plans. But Pastor Robert argued that actually, "good" means that God is working in all circumstances in a way that will make us more like Christ.
Which got me thinking about the things that I just don't understand about my own life lately... it has been a sort of stressful season around the Gentry house. We don't know exactly how we're going to provide for this Itsy Bitsy (student loans?), we feel really unprepared to be parents (though I keep hearing that you never quite feel ready... right?), it seems like our to-do lists are never ending, and the unsold flip house has been a burden of worry, sort of hanging over me like a dark cloud that steals my sleep and gives me a constant pit of anxiousness in my tummy.
As I talked to God and to Adam yesterday about the "good" in this jumble of chaos, one thing kept coming to my mind: humility. I can be kind of a jerk when I think that there is one best way... and I really like things to be neat and tidy and planned out (the word "control freak" comes to mind). Pretty much, our life is the opposite of neat and tidy and planned right now... and my "one best way" for the flip house- tons of research and budgeting- just isn't working out as I'd hoped.
Pray for me on this journey to humility and graciousness. I desire to be the type of person who has the mercy to restore people and disperses grace liberally about things ranging from finances (and real estate- haha!) to parenting and beyond.
And I'm sorry I've been less than humble about life in the past. As you can tell from the craziness that has ensued in my life over the last several months (no jobs for next year, still unsold flip house, no idea how in the world to take care of the little one that will be here in a month, financial chaos for next year that no amount of budgeting or planning can solve), I just don't have my stuff together. Sorry I hold you to a standard that I can't meet myself.
Just so you know, the rest of this series at church has been phenomenal. You can hear yesterday's sermon (it says it'll be up by Tuesday), and the others about Romans 8:28 here.
The last few months, though, all sorts of foods that I'd normally pass on sound really good to me. Like cupcakes. And donuts with 2% milk. And even occasionally cheese fries (I'm not a huge fan of fries OR fake cheese so the combo is especially surprising). I wish I could say that I've started craving some exotic fruits and veggies, but my newly revised tastebuds seem only interested in sugar-y, highly processed foods. So much for my body "knowing what the developing beebs needs" huh?
“That’s as bad as selling your family.” Ismael
“I keep telling my brother to stop pooping, but he doesn’t listen.” Manuel
“Mrs. G., is your life going to be very treacherous next year?” Ismael
“I learned that big kids are great.” Deondre
“My anger problems are as bad as a goat with a whole family in his corral.” Ana
Those moments are becoming more frequent- the excited ones. But I’ll be honest, I am also super scared about this whole “becoming parents” stuff! I like our life… a lot. I like traveling and snuggling on Saturday mornings and date nights and latenight conversations. Even though I am certain that this new season will bring more blessing than I can imagine, it is still hard for me to think about letting go of our old life, a really good life.