For weeks, I've been writing a blog post in my head (do y'all do that?) about how bad I suck at being pregnant.
I'm sure we can all think of someone who actually does this pregnancy thing well (I think my own mom might be one of these individuals, actually... anyone who "really enjoyed" being pregnant is in a different category than me)- all glow-y and cute and full of creative energy.
My pregnancy-defective body, on the other hand, rejects all food that is given to it for the first, well 18-weeks-and-counting. And then, at the end, my organs threaten to explode unless given the Devil Drug (I guess we can't count on that happening again, at this point, though).
Also, I don't like the feeling of being out of control, and that is precisely what pregnancy is- having a little sweet potato-sized dictator that makes your body unpredictable and chaotic.
And I don't like the fact that pregnancy gives a free-for-all license for people to comment on your size using words like, "bigger," "pooch," "basketball," and "popped out," even if they wrap things up by saying, "It's just so cute." There's nothing cute about it. I am well aware of both the rapidly changing, pooch-y state of affairs and also the lack of cuteness involved.
However, despite how bad I suck at pregnancy, I had the thought today that
I am so thankful for my life just the way it is right now. This is notable considering my terrible attitude lately. These are the reasons things aren't that bad:
1. I. love. staying. home. with. Burke. Love it. I love the stage he's in right now, all hilarious chatter and energy and teasing and laughter. I love spending my days with him, hearing the things he comes up with, reading and coloring and dancing and playing and even spending time doing much more menial things together (like cleaning). I wouldn't trade this for a classroom if you paid me a hundred grand a year.
2. I currently have the energy to tackle all sorts of house projects. You should see our closets (well, the ones I've gotten to). And today marked my first oh-so-thorough fridge cleaning (when I was pregnant with burke, I had this weird weekly urge to scrub down our fridge... It's back). It's a beautiful thing.
3. The weather is turning. We spend just about every afternoon lately running around outside. I love spring. Love it.
4. I can't be certain, but I think I've felt the Little Bean kick a couple times. Just the fact that there's going to be another small fry in 22-ish weeks is something to celebrate.
5. Adam's in dental school. He got in. He doesn't have to work at Talk To Chuck anymore. That's brilliant news for our little family, and something to continually be thankful for.
6. Spring break is in 11 days. Burke and I talk about what we're going to do at the beach all day every day right now. Excited is a monumental understatement.
Ok, that's all for now. For those of you who've put up with my constant bickering for the last couple months, I'm sorry... I think I'm turning a corner. Just don't say anything like, "Look how big/pooch-y/popped out/pregnant you look!" and we're good.
