Between Adam starting dental school and us attending a new church, we have met an army of new people lately. In general, I like meeting people- I love learning what they're about, what their passions are, where they've been... However, the frequent meet-and-greet status has been kind of tricky because, for the first time, as I meet people I don't have something that I "do."
Now, I could write a whole post (or several!) about the merits of being a stay-at-home mama... I think that God has put me here, I think that it's great for Burke, I wouldn't change it for the world. I also think that the job of being a mom is a really important, and a really tough job...
I guess that it has just been interesting to not have my identity tied to a vocation. I mean, I still love kids, I still feel called to serve the poor... my passions haven't changed. But it feels more difficult to communicate that now. Like I have to explain myself... "I'm a mom- but I used to be a teacher... and not just a teacher at a regular old school, a teacher in a really low-income area..." I know, it's ridiculous. Obviously, as people get to know me, they'll understand that I am interested in things other than cloth diapers and the merits of various brands of strollers (which I am actually interested in, too). It just feels hard to communicate that right now...
It makes me wonder if my identity was a little too tied up in "doing" instead of "being" in the first place?
3 comments:
Dearest Kirstin -
I think you are AMAZING! You are one of my most favoritest people in the whole world.
As I read your struggles over your "identity crisis" I realized how often I feel the same way - only I don't have the "excuse" of being a Mama! ;) People are constantly trying to "help me" find full-time work. It's like, "no. this is a choice!"
I just wanted you to know that in my heart your identity is VERY SOLID! You're a beautiful, delightful, joyful, accomplished, life-giving woman of God. I don't know anyone like you! And I love emmulating you - although recently I was caught "plaigerizing" one of your awesome phrases! ;) I trust you'll forgive me :)
Hoping we can catch up with each other again soon. I miss you!
Your post made me cry a bit....I remember going to events and how difficult was for me sometimes to have conversations when I was a stay-at-home mom. Men AND women just didn't know what to talk about...as if my interest in world events, local politics, sports...(whatever)became nonexistent because we chose for me to be a full-time mom. It got to kind of funny to watch what their response was when I told them what my "occupation" was. But I almost always followed it with a question about some current "news-worthy" topic. After awhile, most realized that I had a brain and could hold a conversation....surprise, surprise :)
I think "Being" a teacher was a call from God for me. I also think that God called you to this ministry. I don't think that you were caught up in the "being" a teacher...it is who you are whether if you get paid for it or not. When that part of you life ceases, you will find another "something" to do that has teaching at its root....just wait....you"ll see.
I love you xooxoxo mom
you guys made me cry a little bit... thanks so much for the encouragement and reassurance... I love you!
k
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