"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Our pastor has been teaching about this verse for the last several weeks. Today he talked about the word "good" and how our idea of good and God's might be very different. In our world, good means things work out for our benefit and according to our plans. But Pastor Robert argued that actually, "good" means that God is working in all circumstances in a way that will make us more like Christ.
Which got me thinking about the things that I just don't understand about my own life lately... it has been a sort of stressful season around the Gentry house. We don't know exactly how we're going to provide for this Itsy Bitsy (student loans?), we feel really unprepared to be parents (though I keep hearing that you never quite feel ready... right?), it seems like our to-do lists are never ending, and the unsold flip house has been a burden of worry, sort of hanging over me like a dark cloud that steals my sleep and gives me a constant pit of anxiousness in my tummy.
As I talked to God and to Adam yesterday about the "good" in this jumble of chaos, one thing kept coming to my mind: humility. I can be kind of a jerk when I think that there is one best way... and I really like things to be neat and tidy and planned out (the word "control freak" comes to mind). Pretty much, our life is the opposite of neat and tidy and planned right now... and my "one best way" for the flip house- tons of research and budgeting- just isn't working out as I'd hoped.
Pray for me on this journey to humility and graciousness. I desire to be the type of person who has the mercy to restore people and disperses grace liberally about things ranging from finances (and real estate- haha!) to parenting and beyond.
And I'm sorry I've been less than humble about life in the past. As you can tell from the craziness that has ensued in my life over the last several months (no jobs for next year, still unsold flip house, no idea how in the world to take care of the little one that will be here in a month, financial chaos for next year that no amount of budgeting or planning can solve), I just don't have my stuff together. Sorry I hold you to a standard that I can't meet myself.
Just so you know, the rest of this series at church has been phenomenal. You can hear yesterday's sermon (it says it'll be up by Tuesday), and the others about Romans 8:28 here.
6 comments:
wow kirst- our small group last week was on this verse! How wonderful to be learning the same things at the same time. I remember someone saying- I know I NEED God to change me and grow me, and I know (in my head) that I will be Christ like for it- but it is hard to even truthfully ask for God to do this in our lives, since it means not know what He is going to change, or how he is going to do it. I will be praying that you (and me!) will be grateful in times of uncertainty knowing that He does work all things for our good. I love you!
Wow, kirstin, I SO needed this reminder today. It's been a little stressful here as well this year, and the control freak in me has been struggling too. I'll be praying for you as God uses these situations to shape you in His image.
Thanks for the encouragement and prayers girls... really, I appreciate them so much!
Jordi, I can't believe y'all have been studying the same thing. Honestly, I don't think I'm at the place where I'd ask for this. It seems like too much change and uncertainty. I know with my head that it'll be good and that being more like Christ is the most desirable thing... but it just overwhelms me in the middle of it, you know?
Anyhow, thanks for your continued prayers!!!
This was just what I needed Kirst. It's amazing to sign on and read that other women are having the same feelings as I do. We just listened to Robert's first sermon in this series, so that verse has been running through my head. I too need everything to be in order and feel in control and the past week I've been an emotional mess. You're not alone sister and the beauty is that eventually, with God's guidance, we get through it. Maybe not easily, but we find a way none the less. I'll be praying for you...don't hesitate to let me know WHATEVER you need. Coffee, babie supplies, whatever.
Gwen
Kirstin, I totally could have written this post word-for-word (minus the flip house). It's not easy walking into this season on parenthood with so much uncertainty about finances! I don't have any great words of wisdom other than to say I'm walking this with you (seriously, the similarities are kinda crazy!) and I'll add you to the prayer list during my many sleepless nights...
gwen and kara-
your posts made me cry... just to feel like other people are walking this road too (not that I want y'all to be a mess too). it is such an encouragement to have other people in our life that have been here, or that ARE here currently. thank you for your prayers... you'll be in mine too!!!
k
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