the most unnatural natural birth

In celebration of Burke being 1 month old (can you believe it???) I figured that I'd write down his birth story before I start to forget the details. Sorry about the length! :)

Friday May 16, midnight-ish: I wake up having some pretty strong contractions, about 5 minutes apart. I don't even get my hopes up. I've had really strong contractions for the last 4 nights now, but each morning, they've spread out again. I hop in the shower for awhile, heat up a heating pad for my back, grab the exercise ball and settle onto the couch. I cannot get comfortable, even in between contractions.

5/17, 3:30 am: Adam, who has been checking on me periodically, is up for good. We decide to go on a walk to try to keep these contractions going. Yep, it's 3:30 am and we kind of live in the ghetto. However, the green belt by our house is totally empty besides us. It's a good thing, because I keep stopping to hold onto random things- railings, trees, Adam. We must look ridiculous. Oh yeah, and I start throwing up. Yuck. We head home and I get in the shower. Again. I think I took six showers last night. But it's the only place I am semi-comfortable.

5/17, 7:00 am: We head back to the park for yet another walk. There are more people out now, so I'm not quite so liberal with my expressions of pain. Instead of death gripping the nearest tree, I sit on various park benches during contractions. Not nearly as good.

5/17, 9:00 am: We still have a few things to pick up at Babies R Us, so we get in the car. Adam stops at Krispy Kreme for breakfast. I'm still throwing up (in the Krispy Kreme parking lot no less). Gross. At Babies R Us, I throw up in the aisle. I'm a little worried at this point- there is nothing in my stomach and everything that I eat and drink comes right back up, even water. I call the obstetrician. She says that if I am in labor, it'll be much easier if I am hydrated and could we please come to the hospital to get some fluids. Easier sounds fabulous at this point and we're only a few minutes from the hospital, so we head on over.

5/17, noon: I am feeling much better... still having contractions, much more hydrated, carting my IV around the mom-baby floor of the hospital to keep these contractions going (they're only a few minutes apart now). We're pretty sure I'm in labor (all those fake outs for the last few nights make us wary to call it that) and they give me a hospital room. We walk by our nurse and she asks if I've ever been told that I have sickle-cell disease. I tell her no. Weird question.

5/17, 3:00 pm: Nurse Kelly has the lab people redo my blood work. She says that my platelet count came back superlow and they just want to check on it. Nothing to worry about. We keep walking. I sort of want to get back in the shower, but don't ever ask if I can (something I'll regret later when they don't let me shower for 48 hours).

5/17, 5:00 pm: Dr. Chu and Nurse Kelly come in to tell us the results of the second round of lab work. My platelet count is still really, really low (42,000... the minimum level considered to be healthy is 100, 000). This could mean one of three things:

a) that pregnancy has caused me to have a really low platelet count... and that's it

b) that I have pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure)

c) that I have this weird illness called HELLP syndrome (basically an allergic reaction to the pregnancy)

They both reassure us that it is probably option A- that people with pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome evidence more symptoms than just a low platelet count and nausea and actually look pretty sick. However, they ask, could I please stay in bed for now, just in case? Because options B and C (especially option C) are sort of serious and they want to be sure that I'm not at risk of my liver exploding.

Now, our childbirth class instructor (the aforementioned Ellen who is really fantastic aside from her lies about breastfeeding being pain-free) encouraged us to rank order our priorities for labor and delivery. That way, we could pick our battles, so to speak, and focus on the things that really matter to us. Our final list of the things that were most important to us included: Adam being able to be there with me, no C-section, no epidural and no induction (in that order). I also thought that being able to move around, not being chained to an IV, and having access to a tub, shower and birthing ball would all be helpful (less important than our Top 4, but still on our list of priorities). So this news is not great news... staying in bed is NOT part of the birth plan!

5/17, 6:00 pm: Dr. Chu and Nurse Kelly come into our room- the room where I'm stuck in bed having contractions and looking longingly at the bathroom where I'm not allowed to use the shower- shoot! They both have pretty serious looks on their faces. Uh oh. Dr. Chu begins with, "I am so glad you came in to get fluids today." Really uh oh.

Turns out, I do in fact have HELLP syndrome. The Itsy Bitsy is just fine, but my body is having a really hard time being pregnant. They need to give me Magnesium Sulfate (from here on referred to as "the devil drug"), a central nervous system suppressant. They also need to break my water and give me Pitocin (the drug they use to induce labor) to counteract the devil drug, which slows everything down.

So I will be stuck in bed for my entire labor, with tons of IVs in and no option to move around AND my contractions will be superclose together and pretty intense because of the Pitocin. Awesome. I am starting to reconsider my, "let's-try-this-without-pain-medication" plan. But my dear sweet husband gives me credit for being way tougher than I actually am and still thinks that this is totally do-able.

5/17/08, 7:00 pm: They break my water, start the devil drug and start the Pitocin. Oh boy.

5/17/08, 7:30 pm: My contractions are pretty intense (thank you Pitocin) and there is only about 45 seconds between each one. Adam and I are trying to figure out how in the world we are going to manage this with me stuck in bed, tied to lots of little machines and IVs.

We finally find a system that works... I am sitting upright, uncomfortable as that might sound. When a contraction is about to start, Adam gives me fair warning (he can see them coming on a monitor) and then helps me relax by gently touching the areas where he sees tension (mostly my shoulders and my face) and rubbing the small of my back. I figure out that counting helps me. When Adam leaves to get me some ice (and is gone for more than 45 seconds), I realize how much his coaching is helping me- I am WAY less functional without him.

For the next 10 hours, it is pretty much a variation of the above- contractions every 45 seconds and Adam getting me through them. The contractions get more intense and painful as we get into the early morning, and I'm not really able to relax through them anymore, but gripping the sides of the hospital bed is a close second to relaxation. I am dilated to 9.5 cm for almost 4 hours at the end. That's frustrating.

The nurse and Dr. Chu recommend pain meds around 4:00 am so that I can sleep for an hour or two, but I've been in labor for 28 hours without them and would rather just finish this way.

5/18/08, 5:30 am: I've finally gotten the go ahead to start pushing! WOOHOO! Two hours later (after hearing, "One last push, Kirst..." about 10 times), little Burke is born. The whole time I was pushing (ok, really, for the last 9 months), I was wondering if this would be a little boy or a little girl, so to hear them say, "It's a BOY!" is one of the greatest moments of my life! Indescribable really... He is teeny tiny and perfect and I can't believe he's mine.

So, in the end, we got our top three priorities- Adam was with me the whole time (and oh goodness, I could not have done it without him), I didn't have to have a C-section and we didn't need pain meds. Now we can tell Burke, "It was a little tricky, having you. But you were totally, completely worth it!"